Handsome Boy

by Howell Dawdy

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written, recorded, performed, produced & mastered by Howell Dawdy


I woke up on a new planet
where opinions of beauty have a lower standard
and as a result i'm considered quite handsome
& so now I’m a model, famous rich & pampered

but also this planet has some problems for me
compared to the Earth there's barely any gravity
& these big winds coming from the Zordack sea
that threaten to blow me away disastrously

so my people make sure I’m tethered to the couch
I can't dance or swim or jump up off the ground
& I travel around in this big old pouch
& in all of my photos I’m getting blown around

it's pretty silly but I guess it's my gimmick
my manager says people dig it
but I kinda hope this isn't just a temporary living
I need place to stay where
it's sealed against outside air
& there's reenforced walls with
safety nets hung everywhere

so it's not quite a sure fit
& I’m not sure it's worth it
but everywhere I go people tell me i'm perfect

I’m a handsome boy
he’s a handsome boy

hey girl I see you look at me from across the room
I can tell you'd like some private time just me & you
I can tell you'd like to go somewhere with more of a mood
so I gotta warn you that's not easy to do

if I stand up I’ll probably float into space
or worse catch a draft & paint the wall with my face
so let's just see if we're on a wavelength
even 1 night stands are a commitment with me

& by the way you are significantly stronger than me
I can barely lift a glass of what you guys think is whisky
& if I make you laugh try not laugh right at me
cuz you might break a rib or loosen some of my teeth

but I got a pool at my place
& a 24 hour buffet
& if you're super good I might just let you touch my hot face

I’m a handsome boy

if you're a handsome boy put your hands in the air
if you're a handsome boy unlock the chains on your chair
if you're a handsome boy execute a stomp and a flip
if you're a handsome boy levitate for 2 and a half minutes
if you're a handsome boy give me a yeah with some feeling
if you're a handsome boy take seven steps on the ceiling
if you're a handsome boy don't age at all for 20 years
if you're a handsome boy get drunk on 1 & half beers
if you're a handsome boy perceive even slight fluctuations in the strength and locations of the planet's magnetized poles… I can't describe it I just know

I’m a handsome boy


released July 19, 2016
written, recorded, performed, produced & mastered by Howell Dawdy

image by Brandon Jones, text design by Howell Dawdy

additional drums on track by Mark Guidry



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Howell Dawdy Louisville, Kentucky

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