Hey look it's ol' black beard
that guy is really weird
he's always pacing back & forth
and he wears tennis shoes to work
and I swear he drinks the most obscure brands of beer like that makes him cultured
And he's talking to skinny slim
the sworn enemy of letting anyone be right except for him
he's always gesturing like he's conducting all his words with his hands
people nod they understand
but they're just entranced by his dancing limbs
And over there is make-up lathered, skinny little cadaver,
everything faked nearly naked girl
she's slouched and pouting and staring at her phone
no idea why someone like her could be alone
And who am I? Oh, I'm just the narrator out here drifting in between
outside the walls of all these little experiments I'm observing
I'm not perfect I've got my own quirks,weaknesses and fears
but the people who live through all these holes I drilled are super weird
the people who live through these holes I drilled are weird
the people who live through these holes I drilled are weird
the people who live through these holes I drilled are weird
the people through these holes are weird
Oh and check out ring guy the guy who wears rings all the time
like tons of rings, too many rings and he's a guy, that's weird right
And he's friends with this tiny little dude
who brings over all this snack food
and rides a bike with a big antique-looking headlight
They used to have this mutual friend who put up with both of them
but you could tell he just liked the snacks and the stereo system
anyway he met this girl with glasses & curly hair who drags him to yoga classes
every night of the week so now he misses them
And her mom's always hanging around collecting what people left on the ground
she's got a room piled high with weirdness you wouldn't even believe it
so the aimless guy and the yoga girl sat her down and scolded her saying
this garbage belongs in a dump where we can't see it
the people who live through these holes I drilled are weird
the people who live through these holes I drilled are weird
the people who live through these holes I drilled are weird
the people through these holes are weird
Look at all these weirdos
with their haircuts
odd-shaped bodies lumbering around on clumsy feet
staring at glowing screens
writing down boring dreams
you should see the manners when someone doesn't know you're watching them eat
And last but not least we've got my favorite oddity
a single woman living independent on her own
she has tons of family and friends
but can't seem to keep up with any of them
she's in this rut and can't figure out how to throw herself a bone
So she's just trying to get by
one day of her life at a time while
everything shoots by temporary and overpriced
She had to go into debt just to stay alive
she has to go out and get wet just to stay dry
wonders if she can collect on her investment
before she dies
And sure she knows she's lucky but knowing that doesn't change the fact
that she cries a couple times a week for no clear reason
and the choices that she's made well aren't they choices, didn't she make them
if there's a right answer why all this celebration of freedom?
She just wants to be all right and to be needed and to be secure
and be able to handle whatever injustice life throws at her
she wants to be seen and heard and understood and appreciated
if only she knew i'm here behind this hole really hoping that she makes it
look at all these weirdos
with their haircuts
odd-shaped bodies lumbering around on clumsy feet
staring at glowing screens
writing down boring dreams
you should see the manners when . . . did he just see me?
credits
from The Howell Dawdy Mixtape,
released April 18, 2014
written, performed, recorded, produced and mastered by Howell Dawdy
Robins decided to release the recording of his 2016 comedy tour during the Covid-19 shutdown at the behest of fans. Bandcamp New & Notable May 29, 2020
Comedian Chris Gethard’s hilarious new surprise album is devoted to the great state of New Jersey, and the great state of New Jersey alone. Bandcamp New & Notable Dec 18, 2019
This dry, wry, gently absurdist comedian's first album is the inaugural release for Tig Notaro's new label, Bentzen Ball Records. Bandcamp New & Notable Jul 13, 2016