BOO, I'M A GHOST

Boo I'm a ghost

Boo I'm a ghost
that's my greeting
sometimes i have to repeat it
cuz people start screaming

They run back down the hall
shut the door and lock it
so i step through the wall
cuz I wasn't finished talking

I tell em boo i'm a ghost
I live here too
crazy that it's taken me this long
to talk to you

I mean I watch you all the time
and you seem pretty cool
but if we're gonna live together
you should get to know the rules

Number 1 I'm a ghost
I do what I want
this is the house I died in
it's the house I'll haunt

Only other rule is
keep a chill morning routine
cuz most nights I'm up pretty late
watching you sleep

But I don't mind people
in fact I used to be one
but eventually human forms
become empty ones

So who knows if you and I end up
getting along nicely
we could haunt this house together
when they bury that old body

Boo I'm a ghost
Boo I'm a ghost
Boo I'm a ghost
Boo I'm a ghost

Now a lot of people are scared of me
why would you be scared of me
I'm made of air and I'm depressed
I feel like you could take me

I mean yes I make noises in the middle of the night and
yes I rattle windows and I flicker the lights and
yes I represent suffering after death and
yes I raise a lot of crazy spiritual questions

But I don't carry bacteria
or viruses or germs
my hair's not full of lice &
my bowels aren't full of worms

And I'm not built of gradually decaying
meat and skin
I mean for real let's take an inventory
of what's actually frightening

Blood - I don't have it, but you do
guts - I don't have em, but you do
bile - I don't have it, but you do
you're like a bag of stuff that's gross even to you

tears - I don't have em, but you do
other fluids - I don't have em, but you do
fat cells - I don't have them, but you do
You're like 3 steps away from being an unpleasant stew

Boo I'm a ghost
sorry I think I mentioned that
sorry I keep sneaking up on you too
I always do that

Hey what's with all the boxes?
are you moving out?
Just when i'd adjusted
to having you around?

Is this cuz you were in the attic
and I maniacally laughed?
or because i popped up in the mirror
while you were taking a bath?

Are you mad that I like to distract you
when you've got the stove on?
It's just i'd counted on you dying here
and it's taking so long

Not that I mind people
in fact i used to be one
but i like human beings less
than the ghostly ones

so it'd be nice if you and I could
sort this thing out
then we could haunt this house together
when your body's in the ground.

Boo I'm a ghost.